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Verfasser: James

Datum: Donnerstag, den 6. September 2001, um 10:52 Uhr

Betrifft: Mormone meint, Mormonen sind verrÃ¼ckt

Robert Kirby, Kolumnist der Salt Lake Tribune, kommentiert mal wieder gar kÃ¶stlich (Hervorhebungen von mir, sorry, keine Zeit und Lust fÃ¼r lange Ãœbersetzungen):

"KIRBY: Don’t Call Us Weird: We’re Really Nuts, Thursday, September 6, 2001

BY ROBERT KIRBY

I just finished reading Ken Woodward’s piece about Mormons in the Sept. 10 issue of Newsweek. It’s the one with a bunch of white-shirted Mormons on the cover looking very, um . . . Mormonish.
Being a Mormon myself, I take exception to many points in the article titled, "Mormons: A Changing -- But Still Mysterious -- Religion Gets Ready for Its Olympic Close-Up."
First, let me say that I do not object to the stuff that LDS Church public relations officials hollered about on Sunday, namely Woodward’s allegation that the church has begun placing more emphasis on the Resurrection than the restoration.
With all due respect to church PR, even most Mormons see this as an issue of "duh." Anyone who doesn’t think so hasn’t been paying attention in Sunday school over the past five years.
No, the points I object to in Woodward’s story are actual misrepresentations of Mormons. We need to fix these before the Olympics start and nobody shows up because they’re scared of us.
The first mistake in the Newsweek article is the cover. It features a "color" photograph of five black and white Mormons thinking black and white thoughts, wearing black and white clothing.
The problem here is that the leader of the group, at least the one out front of the others, is a woman. This is a gross misrepresentation of official Mormon hierarchy. Get that priesthoodless woman in the back where she belongs.
Also, she’s wearing slacks. Anyone who knows anything about official Mormon uniforms knows that slacks on women are just plain wrong.
OK, maybe we should cut the cover some, um, slack for purposes of artistic license. But there simply is no excuse for a complete and total absence of neckties.
Woodward erroneously describes the Mormon "Plan of Eternal Salvation." He starts it right with the "pre-Earth life," but goes straight from "Mortality" to the "Spirit World," completely skipping over the "Spirit Prison."
Anyone who truly understands Mormons knows that the entire point of going to church is to prepare us for Spirit Prison, or a mandatory meeting that lasts approximately 8 billion years.
Another mistake Woodward makes is the claim that Utah is "predominantly" Mormon, and that a slight majority of all Mormons live outside the United States.
I don’t know what part of Utah he was talking about, but I live in Happy Valley. Of the 11 million Mormons in the entire world, 10 million of them live right here. The only non-Mormon is some guy named Bill, whom we long ago drove insane with organ music.
Ken also claims that Mormons have zero tolerance for homosexuality. I wouldn’t know about that. Just because I prefer to keep male-on-male contact to a handshake does not make me intolerant.
Of course, no journalistic piece on Mormons would be complete without some reference to polygamy. Here Ken claims that the church gave up plural marriage long ago.
That’s not completely true, either. Mormons still believe in plural marriage. The only difference is that we get around the law now by marrying one woman with multiple personalities.
Finally, there is the issue of temperance. Ken perpetuates the belief that Mormons do not drink intoxicating beverages. Again, wrong. Anyone knows that a dozen large Mountain Dews will give you a major buzz.
Yeah, we’re Mormons. We believe in tithing, testimonies and temperance. We have big families. We settled Utah and fought the U.S. government to a tie. We’re not just weird. We’re nuts. Get over it.

NOTE TO KEN: Call me next time you want to do a story on us. You haven’t seen mysterious until you volunteer on a Mormon welfare farm."
Quelle unter:

http://www.sltrib.com/09062001/Utah/129549.htm